Almost Famous

aren’t we all to a degree?  i mean we’ve all been there in our heads. walking down the red carpet behind Brangelina or being John Wayne.  whatever the connection we’ve all envisioned some sort famous status for ourselves. why stop there? i mean shoot for the fucking stars.  here’s a list of gigs and opportunities i want in the afterlife….

  1. playing bass guitar for U2…its low key and a lot of pay with travel opportunities
  2. becoming friends with Jeff Bridges in the Big Lebowski II
  3. being the older brother of Joel and Ethan Coen (the brother they thank for receiving all accolades and the driving force behind their vision)
  4. being Keith Richards’ son and lifetime guitar tech (and maybe fill in for Ronnie Wood when he’s in rehab)
  5. being Nigel Godrich’s (record producer-radiohead, beck, pavement etc) right hand man assistant engineer
  6. being Brad Pitt’s wingman
  7. having “Tiger Woods-like” game…on the links that is. I mean if i was Brad Pitt’s wingman I’d have enough broads around right?
  8. wake up and play piano like Beethoven and play his 9th Symphony hungover at some frat party while coeds look on in amazement
  9. discover the true meaning to Einstein’s mass energy equivalence (E=MC2) and write out some formula on a wall like Russell Crowe did in that movie
  10. be a gladiator and never lose or be socially marginalized like they were back in the day
  11. write “strawberry fields forever”
  12. drink absinthe with Vinny Van Gogh and actually teach him about “Impressionism” at Zundert
  13. play the wah wah guitar in Bob Marley’s outfit and maybe collaborate on “stir it up” while cheebed
  14. ride a white steed next to John Wayne with tons of fucking western swagger…you know when the bad guys look nervous when eye contact is made?
  15. be a forward with Georgie Best and win 5 Champion League Titles then go back to his hometown (belfast) and drink tons of Guinness to celebrate.
  16. win the golden boot award in a world cup
  17. be on the board of trustees of the “st. james gate syndicate” and own stock in Arty’s fine beer, Guinness
  18. star in a film (my brothers ethan and joel wrote) about a scottish wise guy along the same lines as The Godfather.
  19. assume control of the roman government, at it’s peak, when Caesar falls ill and assassinate Brutus before he gets any “ideas”.
  20. have season tickets to the LA Lakers games and sit between Jack and that other dude with shades.

Well i believe that’s a good start.  any of you care to add?


5 thoughts on “Almost Famous

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